MARRIAGE MATERIAL

Adrienne White

Central Truth

If we follow God’s wisdom and remain faithful in marriage, our lives won’t end in ruin. Overall, the Lord knows our hearts.

For the lips of a forbidden woman drip honey,
and her speech is smoother than oil,
but in the end she is bitter as wormwood,
sharp as a two-edged sword.
Her feet go down to death;
her steps follow the path to Sheol.
. . .
For a man's ways are before the eyes of the Lord,
and he ponders all his paths.
. . .
He dies for lack of discipline,
and because of his great folly he is led astray.
(Proverbs 5:3-5, 21, 23)

Warning Against Adultery

1 My son, be attentive to my wisdom;
    incline your ear to my understanding,
2 that you may keep discretion,
    and your lips may guard knowledge.
3 For the lips of a forbidden^{1

5:3
Hebrew strange; also verse 20} woman drip honey,
    and her speech^{2

5:3
Hebrew palate} is smoother than oil,
4 but in the end she is bitter as wormwood,
    sharp as a two-edged sword.
5 Her feet go down to death;
    her steps follow the path to^{3

5:5
Hebrew lay hold of} Sheol;
6 she does not ponder the path of life;
    her ways wander, and she does not know it.

7 And now, O sons, listen to me,
    and do not depart from the words of my mouth.
8 Keep your way far from her,
    and do not go near the door of her house,
9 lest you give your honor to others
    and your years to the merciless,
10 lest strangers take their fill of your strength,
    and your labors go to the house of a foreigner,
11 and at the end of your life you groan,
    when your flesh and body are consumed,
12 and you say, “How I hated discipline,
    and my heart despised reproof!
13 I did not listen to the voice of my teachers
    or incline my ear to my instructors.
14 I am at the brink of utter ruin
    in the assembled congregation.”

15 Drink water from your own cistern,
    flowing water from your own well.
16 Should your springs be scattered abroad,
    streams of water in the streets?
17 Let them be for yourself alone,
    and not for strangers with you.
18 Let your fountain be blessed,
    and rejoice in the wife of your youth,
19     a lovely deer, a graceful doe.
Let her breasts fill you at all times with delight;
    be intoxicated^{4

5:19
Hebrew be led astray; also verse 20} always in her love.
20 Why should you be intoxicated, my son, with a forbidden woman
    and embrace the bosom of an adulteress?^{5

5:20
Hebrew a foreign woman}
21 For a man's ways are before the eyes of the LORD,
    and he ponders^{6

5:21
Or makes level} all his paths.
22 The iniquities of the wicked ensnare him,
    and he is held fast in the cords of his sin.
23 He dies for lack of discipline,
    and because of his great folly he is led astray.

Footnotes

[1] 5:3 Hebrew strange; also verse 20
[2] 5:3 Hebrew palate
[3] 5:5 Hebrew lay hold of
[4] 5:19 Hebrew be led astray; also verse 20
[5] 5:20 Hebrew a foreign woman
[6] 5:21 Or makes level

Proverbs 5 has some pretty serious material on marriage. It wants us to heed a warning: if you fall into temptation and cheat on your spouse, your life will come to ruin. Instead, it calls us to “rejoice in the wife of your youth.”

According to Dr. Constable, it’s likely that Solomon is talking to a younger audience here, namely his son. But the Bible always has something to teach us wherever we are in life.

Full disclosure: I’m not married. However, Proverbs 5 serves as a reminder that we are to commit to the oaths we make to God (Matthew 5:33-37). While we may be tempted to cheat “[f]or the lips of a forbidden woman drip honey,” ultimately “in the end she is bitter as wormwood,” and “[h]er feet go down to death.” That’s not what God wants for us. We’re called to listen to this advice and practice discipline.

For me, as a single adult, it’s wisdom on how to prepare for marriage. Am I looking for someone that God would want for me? It’s easy for us to get wrapped up in the temptation of someone who sounds great, but isn’t a wise choice. I have to check that anyone who comes into my life loves the Lord first.

Second, marriage is a lifelong commitment that takes discipline and self control. I don’t want to be led astray by my own folly. Am I fully devoted to God and ready for that commitment?

Ultimately, God desires what is good for us. Proverbs often repeats this sentiment, notably in Proverbs 3. “For a man’s ways are before the eyes of the Lord, and he ponders all his paths.” (Proverbs 5:21) The Hebrew word for ponders is also translated “makes level,” just as we see in Proverbs 3:6, which reads, “In all your ways acknowledge him, and he will make your paths straight.” That’s God’s truth for us. If we seek and apply His wisdom, God will make our paths straight, though not necessarily free from trouble. Let’s choose to seek God’s wisdom from Proverbs 5.

1. How are you seeking God’s wisdom on a daily basis?

2. What areas of your life need to be more disciplined? Do you struggle with this kind of temptation?

3. What does Proverbs 5 teach you specifically about marriage or relationships?

Marriage