BE LIKE JESUS, NOT LIKE JOHN.

October 19, 2017

BE LIKE JESUS, NOT LIKE JOHN.

Proverbs 15:1–11

John Wingfield

Central Truth

Our tongues can speak either life or destruction. What is stored in our hearts will come out of our mouth. Apart from Christ and left to ourselves, we become fools.

Turn to Him so you can be a soothing tongue that is a tree of life.

A soft answer turns away wrath,
but a harsh word stirs up anger.
(Proverbs 15:1)

1 A soft answer turns away wrath,
    but a harsh word stirs up anger.
2 The tongue of the wise commends knowledge,
    but the mouths of fools pour out folly.
3 The eyes of the LORD are in every place,
    keeping watch on the evil and the good.
4 A gentle^{1

15:4
Or healing} tongue is a tree of life,
    but perverseness in it breaks the spirit.
5 A fool despises his father's instruction,
    but whoever heeds reproof is prudent.
6 In the house of the righteous there is much treasure,
    but trouble befalls the income of the wicked.
7 The lips of the wise spread knowledge;
    not so the hearts of fools.^{2

15:7
Or the hearts of fools are not steadfast}
8 The sacrifice of the wicked is an abomination to the LORD,
    but the prayer of the upright is acceptable to him.
9 The way of the wicked is an abomination to the LORD,
    but he loves him who pursues righteousness.
10 There is severe discipline for him who forsakes the way;
    whoever hates reproof will die.
11 Sheol and Abaddon lie open before the LORD;
    how much more the hearts of the children of man!

Footnotes

[1] 15:4 Or healing
[2] 15:7 Or the hearts of fools are not steadfast

Proverbs 15:1 saved my marriage.

Debbie and I showed up at Watermark Community Church 10 years ago with a broken marriage. The good news is that Christ has taken our marriage mess and is turning it into a message.

One of the most vivid memories from my childhood occurred when I was about ten. My dad was standing on my neck with my head smashed up against the leg of the sofa. My dad, when home, was verbally, emotionally, and physically abusive. Thirty years later, I would bring verbal and emotional abuse into my own family. My anger and rage made Debbie and our three kids fearful, and my harsh words and critical spirit crushed them emotionally. My unforgiveness made them walk on eggshells around me.

Ephesians 4:31-32 instructs us: "Let all bitterness and wrath and anger and clamor and slander be put away from you, along with all malice. Be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, as God in Christ forgave you." I did the opposite. Every little thing Debbie did or said, I used as an excuse to say hurtful and abusive things to her. Debbie and the kids lived in fear of the next time I would explode in front of them.

In my life, the first casualty of sin is always relationships. I now know that hurt people hurt other people. My wife and I continued to fight and began a crazy cycle of hurtful words, long periods of withdrawal (sometimes weeks without talking), and isolation. This went on for years. I was operating alone, and the devil was attacking me from every angle. "Your adversary the devil prowls around like a roaring lion, seeking someone to devour." (1 Peter 5:8b)

Desperate for help, I finally sought out the the wisdom of godly men. They spoke truth into my life, and I began to dive into the Bible. I started hiding God's Word deep in my heart. Each time I felt anger building up in me, I cried out for help. Proverbs 15:1 became my hourly prayer, "Lord, please give me a gentle answer."

Yes. God is faithful.

1. Husbands, ask your wife if she feels like you cherish her above all other women.

2. Are you hiding God's Word deep in your heart by memorizing Scripture?

3. Husbands, are you willing to put together a list of godly men along with phone numbers so your wife can call them when you're not leading well at home? Doing this radically changed my marriage.