August 9, 2012
IT'S A ROLE, NOT A RANK
Ephesians 5
Dee & Roddy Elliott
Central Truth
Unaware and uninstructed, we assume ranks and roles that are not Scriptural. It's when we respond to the call of Christ, His justification, glory, and sanctification (Romans 8:29-30), that we bring honor to Him and enjoy loving, respectful peace in the family.
Key Verse | Ephesians 5:22–25, 33
Wives, be subject to your own husbands, as to the Lord. For the husband is the head of the wife, as Christ also is the head of the church . . . . [T]he church is subject to Christ, so also the wives ought to be to their husbands . . . . Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ also loved the church . . . . [E]ach individual . . . also is to love his own wife even as himself, and the wife must see to it that she respects her husband. (Ephesians 5:22-25, 33)
Ephesians 5
Walk in Love
1 Therefore be imitators of God, as beloved children. 2 And walk in love, as Christ loved us and gave himself up for us, a fragrant offering and sacrifice to God.
3 But sexual immorality and all impurity or covetousness must not even be named among you, as is proper among saints. 4 Let there be no filthiness nor foolish talk nor crude joking, which are out of place, but instead let there be thanksgiving. 5 For you may be sure of this, that everyone who is sexually immoral or impure, or who is covetous (that is, an idolater), has no inheritance in the kingdom of Christ and God. 6 Let no one deceive you with empty words, for because of these things the wrath of God comes upon the sons of disobedience. 7 Therefore do not become partners with them; 8 for at one time you were darkness, but now you are light in the Lord. Walk as children of light 9 (for the fruit of light is found in all that is good and right and true), 10 and try to discern what is pleasing to the Lord. 11 Take no part in the unfruitful works of darkness, but instead expose them. 12 For it is shameful even to speak of the things that they do in secret. 13 But when anything is exposed by the light, it becomes visible, 14 for anything that becomes visible is light. Therefore it says,
“Awake, O sleeper,
and arise from the dead,
and Christ will shine on you.”
15 Look carefully then how you walk, not as unwise but as wise, 16 making the best use of the time, because the days are evil. 17 Therefore do not be foolish, but understand what the will of the Lord is. 18 And do not get drunk with wine, for that is debauchery, but be filled with the Spirit, 19 addressing one another in psalms and hymns and spiritual songs, singing and making melody to the Lord with your heart, 20 giving thanks always and for everything to God the Father in the name of our Lord Jesus Christ, 21 submitting to one another out of reverence for Christ.
Wives and Husbands
22 Wives, submit to your own husbands, as to the Lord. 23 For the husband is the head of the wife even as Christ is the head of the church, his body, and is himself its Savior. 24 Now as the church submits to Christ, so also wives should submit in everything to their husbands.
25 Husbands, love your wives, as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her, 26 that he might sanctify her, having cleansed her by the washing of water with the word, 27 so that he might present the church to himself in splendor, without spot or wrinkle or any such thing, that she might be holy and without blemish. 1 5:27 Or holy and blameless 28 In the same way husbands should love their wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself. 29 For no one ever hated his own flesh, but nourishes and cherishes it, just as Christ does the church, 30 because we are members of his body. 31 “Therefore a man shall leave his father and mother and hold fast to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh.” 32 This mystery is profound, and I am saying that it refers to Christ and the church. 33 However, let each one of you love his wife as himself, and let the wife see that she respects her husband.
Dive Deeper | Ephesians 5
Talk of submission rankles many a hair on the necks of women.
Paul writes to the Ephesians and addresses relationships from the perspective of leadership and responsibilities. Having been married for 42 years, we know it either works together sweetly under the right priorities, or it fails miserably. We've done both.
For years we clashed over the husband's role. We had different opinions, but little understanding. As a result, we competed for control while he demanded obedience to the rank of husband. This is not God's design for roles in marriage. Leading in the role of headship involves loving, serving, caring for the other person as Jesus Christ does for the church -- His people. He died for her.
We learned that submission involves four responsibilities beginning with an attitude of entrusting ourselves fully to the Lord. Our focus in life must be on Jesus Christ. Through Him we are able to love and submit. Second, submission involves respectful behavior; third, godly character. And fourth, it involves doing what is right and according to God's will. Finally, we learned that God doesn't intend for one to be a slave to the other in total subservience. We simply relate to one another as unto the Lord.
But, to prevent chaos, there needs to be order. So, God placed the husband in authority over his wife with the responsibility to love and lead her, just as Jesus does for His people. These are roles we accept willingly as we pursue Jesus.
We learned perfection in this is impossible. Essentials include: unconditional and sacrificial love, a willingness to forgive, keeping short accounts, and the ability to laugh at yourself. This makes submission reasonable, not a burden, but it requires taking the initiative and serving with integrity.
Finally, praying together daily has changed our hearts in a way nothing else has. Leadership involves acting on Paul's instruction to the Corinthians, "stand firm in the faith, act like men" (1 Corinthians 16:13). Men, lead well, serve well, and pray with your woman. Respect will follow.
Discussion Questions
1. Why does responsibility to lead with godly character require surrendering?
2. Does surrendering feel like losing, and if to the Lord, is it?
3. Why does submission feel like suppression and subservience?
4. What is respect?
5. How does it look when a husband (dad) serves and shows love for his wife (mom)?
6. How does it look when a wife (mom) shows respect for her husband (dad)?
WEEKLY FAMILY ACTIVITY
August 6-10 (Ephesians 2-6)
Read Ephesians 6:10-20.
In verse 11, Paul talks about the schemes and strategies of the Devil.
• What are they?
•
What does Paul say we should use to fight those schemes?
• Make a list of all the pieces of God's armor. What does each piece do?
• Go through your house and find articles of clothing to represent all the pieces of God's armor.
Take time to review and memorize what each piece is and what it represents. Example: a hat to stand for the helmet that represents our salvation.
Activity: Write each of the following words on a separate piece of paper: truth, righteousness, peace, faith, salvation, Word of God. Now put the clothing that represents each one across the room. If you have enough family members, you can make this into a competition by getting two piles of clothes that represent each thing. Now, draw one card from the pile, read it, and run down and get the item that represents that word. You can make it more difficult by pulling out more than one card.
Daily, we are to put on our armor so that we can withstand the attacks of the enemy. Talk together about what it looks like to put these things on every day (spending time in God's Word, praying, reminding yourself of your salvation, etc.).